When in Thailand

Welcome back.

How very astute of you to notice that I changed the colors of this site, again. I see nothing gets by you, especially orange. You should look into becoming a detective.

The reasoning behind the color change is two-fold. First, I wanted the site to be a little more unique and have some pictures as part of its permanent background. There is also a new cooler looking Flickr button that will lead you to more pictures. Second, I wanted to change the colors, not only because I think these are nicer, but they are easier on the eyes than a glowing white screen. A computer screen is really just a giant light emitting surface, and you wouldn't stare at a light bulb while trying to read 12 point text scrawled across it. Changing the color of course doesn't change this fact, but it makes things a little easier to read. Of course black would be best but then I would have to use bright white letters. Anyway, if you disagree with any of my decisions, you are wrong.

Anyway, from December 21st until January 4th, I left Nagano and its snowless winter and set off for Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia, and Singapore. As this is my introduction post, it will primarily be text, but fear not - so many photos and stories are coming your way that you will need an army of shithawks to defend yourself from their awesomeness.

Shithawks.

The Characters:

Rich: Not that I feel the need to introduce myself. I will go ahead and say one thing though. If you read any of this and at any point feel "hmmm, that is interesting." or "ha, that is funny." or "um, I disagree with his assessment." --please feel free to comment on any post. It makes me feel happy that people are interested in my stories or read my work. Also, if you disagree with me, I would love to explain to you how you are wrong. Seriously though, commenting is easy. Just click the link that says "comments" at the bottom of the post. See, no effort from you and you'd make my day. I can get that warm fuzzy feeling inside knowing that I am not writing all of this for nothing.


Icy Jones: Icy is not a new character on our show, you met him in the first season. For those of you who don't remember, I met Icy on the plane ride to Japan. Icy is from Philly, and is currently in a deep state of depression because he is a huge Dallas Cowboys fan. Icy was great to travel with, not because of his general coolness or the fact that he is a generally easy going guy - these are all great, but the most interesting aspect of having Icy around is the fact that he is a walking novelty in Asia. Not a day went by without someone yelling Bob Marley lyrics at him, or requesting a photo. One guy took time out every day to inform Icy that he was "chillin like a villain." In Thailand where backpackers often get their hair dreaded on the street, a few lads offered Icy a big smile and wink as though they were proud to become a member of some sort of fraternity that Icy was a charter member of. Perhaps the funniest exchange was at a hostel in Singapore when a girl, while rattling off the various genres of music that make up her self described "eclectic" music taste, said "and of course, reggae," while gesturing at Mr. Jones. It could be that the girl really liked reggae, or it could be that she was talking to a man with healthy dreadlocks and made an assumption. I told Icy he should have called her out on it, but he just smiled and shrugged. That's Icy.


Bhumibol, King of Thailand: The fellow you see in the middle of that arch is the King of Thailand.

King Bhumibol of Thailand (more commonly known as Rama IX) is seen in pictures and giant billboards throughout the country. If you catch a movie in Thailand, you will see a video of him with the Thai National Anthem in the background. Almost every person in Thailand either sports an orange bracelet (designed after the LIVESTRONG bracelets) saying "Long Live the King!" or at least some sort of picture of the King on their person at all times.

Oh yea, and if you talk any smack about him, you will find yourself in a Thai prison for 3-15 years according to lèse majesté laws which the Thai government still practices, so for now, we're going to say that he is a handsome king and move on.

The Arrival - Bangkok 12/21

The night we arrived, it took me a few seconds to snap out of "I live in Japan where absolutely everyone is honest and wants to help me, and no one will ever take advantage of the fact that I don't know my way around/are not yet comfortable with the currency/cannot speak the language" mode. Don't get me wrong, during my time there, I have discovered that the Thai are wonderfully nice people, and are quite helpful. They simply maintain the notion that everyone from the west is a billionaire and can afford absolutely anything.

We arrived in Bangkok's new international airport and immediately found ourselves among a swarm of people offering us taxis into the city. A New Yorker, fortunately doesn't have to travel to Asia to know about gypsy cabs. I knew damn well that the prices being offered at the gate were way above what we should pay to Bangkok, so we worked our way through the crowd to the street in order to find a licensed taxi (in Thailand, these sport a yellow license plate.)

No luck, only unmarked sedans. Only more offers shouted at us. Finally, I heard a softer voice offer a price. "Need a ride?"

I turned around and saw a short Thai woman in her 20s who was moderately attractive. Rather than dismiss her, I fell victim to the weakness that all men are subject to. "How much?"

"700 Baht. The driver will pay for the highway tolls."

"How far is it?"

"About an hour."

700 Baht is about $21. Seemed reasonable, and such a kind offer, for the driver to pay for the tolls. We followed the woman for a few seconds before logic kicked in. "700 Baht is not a good price. It wasn't a good price when the gruffy fat guy offered it to us back at the terminal, and its not a good price now." We then realized that the woman was not a driver. She was walking us to a driver who was clearly smart enough to use the little siren as bait. We hurried back into the terminal and saw where we went wrong. In the airport, there is a tiny sign (with numerous solicitors standing in front of it) informing travelers that metered cabs can be found at the exit of the ground floor. Brilliant. The ride cost us 400 Baht. We paid the tolls which came out to about 20 Baht (by the way, 100 Baht roughly equals $3).

We arrived at Khaosan Road by 10pm. Khaosan is the backpacker road in Bangkok. Many people have their share of things to say about Khaosan, but personally, I didn't mind it. It is what it is, and that's an easy base for backpackers. At Khaosan, there is a wealth of fairly priced guesthouses offering clean and safe lodging. There are dozens of restaurants, internet cafes, places to have film developed (cheaply), places to dump pictures from a full memory card onto a CD or DVD (which we required a few times). There are also independent travel agents who know the country as well as South East Asia well and are invaluable and (at least in my experience) honest resources for booking trains planes and buses to your next destination. There is also tons of shopping, including designer shoes and clothing (some knock offs, and some the genuine article. Salespeople are honest about which is which), as well as pirated music, movies and books. You can even find press passes or college diplomas.

The best part about Thailand, in my opinion, is the food. Thai food is my absolute favorite Asian cuisine. As the country's main industry is tourism, there is very little need to worry about the quality of the food, or health risks. Thai natives don't even drink the water, so all water is bottled and ice is manufactured and clean. During our first night in Bangkok, we had some Pad Thai from a street vendor.

For 20 baht, you get fried noodle goodness. That's about 60 cents for those of you keeping track. Add another 5 baht, and she will throw a spring roll into the mix.

Real Thai Pad Thai is pretty different from its western Thai restaurant counterpart. Where the latter is a richer saucier noodle dish, in Thailand Pad Thai tends to be drier and focuses more on the natural flavor of the vegetables and some spices rather than sauce. Both are delicious, and both make you thirsty.

Fortunately, if there is one other thing the Thai do well, its drinks. On the road there is a wealth of pushcarts offering freshly squeezed juices from any fruit imaginable. I alternated between banana shakes (banana, condensed milk and crushed ice) and watermelon juice. You can also get young coconut juice which is basically a young coconut, cracked open with a straw.




Of course, not all street food is delicious. Some is down right nasty. This cart seemed innocuous enough when we first saw it, but upon further inspection, we saw it was anything but.




Thats right, here we have a fresh batch of fried scorpion and cockroach. There were also silkworms, maggots, grasshoppers, mantises and just about any other creepy crawly you would never want to eat.

I was happy to learn that the hawkers who sell these did not decide to fry up bugs simply for western thrill seekers. In fact, these are traditional fare from a northern region of Thailand called Isaan.

I ate grasshopper (inago) once in Japan. I know full well that it was not too bad, and I assume such is the case with other insects. Still, I could not bring myself to munch on a scorpion, and certainly not a cockroach.

I find this particular picture funny especially because of the "aw hell no" look on Icy's face as he decides to pass on the arachnids, insects, and larvae below the plastic.

Sorry to those of you who were hoping to hear of a brave story about how I tried one... I will do many things in the interest of a thrill, but I draw the line at crunching chelicerates.


During our stay in Thailand, as many travel plans were made on the fly, Bangkok and namely Khaosan road became our hub. As such, we managed to stay in a number of different guest houses throughout our trip. During our first night, we stayed at the "Four Sons Village" guesthouse. It was cheap enough, though not as cheap or friendly as other nicer guesthouses were, and it was completely without character. Still, it was clean and comfortable.

Day 2 - Pattaya 12/22

The following morning, we woke up bright and early, had a delicious breakfast at our guesthouse, and headed to Pattaya.

I didn't know quite what to make of this sign we saw on the way to Pattaya. Perhaps they were referring to a major automobile manufacturing area? Perhaps the home of Motown. Perhaps somewhere in this Detroit of the East is the Thai equivalent of Brandon Back.

Suffice to say, we were only 20 minutes away, yet these questions would never be answered.

Pattaya is a modern day Sin City that makes Vegas look like a local church book club. Its streets are covered with prostitutes as well as ladyboys (transsexuals who are also often Prostitutes.) Unlike most cities where prostitutes hide in alleys or must be sought after in certain shady parts of town, the ones in Pattaya take the more aggressive approach of grabbing you by the arm and negotiating prices in perfect self-taught English as well as catcalling you day or night.

If that is not enough, sleaze bars line the streets. These go-go bars apparently allow a person to see anything from a fully nude show, to women pulling various sharp objects and firing various other projectiles (including darts) from orifices which ought not have such items enter or exit them.

These two ladies (we were pretty sure they were ladies, though we were not about to find out.) Were on the street advertising their particular go-go bar's Christmas party.

I imagine I can skip the obligatory "sit on Santa's lap and tell her what you want" joke and leave it to your imagination. Needless to say, Christmas is a very secular holiday in Pattaya.

Oh, and if you are scratching your head wondering where you heard of Pattaya before, you may have heard about it from me when I said "next year I will live in Pattaya to get certified as a SCUBA instructor."

This is where I will be living next year. Builds character I suppose.

-R